The last month has flown by, but I haven't had any studio time. And now Christmas is sneaking up on me!
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| Yikes! |
In my defense, in the last month I have spent two weeks in Maryland, working on Bruce's house getting it ready to sell, and one week in New Jersey, visiting Pop, attending a memorial service for Bruce, and visiting with old friends and cousins.
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| Brian and Pop |
Grief is a funny thing. In college, I took a class based on Elizabeth Kubler Ross' book
On Death and Dying. At the age of 19, death was certainly an abstract concept, and I found it academically interesting, but of course not personally applicable. At 19, Brian (who was then my boyfriend, now my husband) and I were going to live forever. My parents, although I thought of them as "old" (they were in their forties -- ancient!) were going to be with me forever. But of course that is not true. Loss is inevitable and is a part of life. It is funny, though, as I lose each loved person, I find that I really do go through the stages of grief outlined by Kubler Ross. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not necessarily in a linear progression, but I have experienced all of them. And although acceptance does finally arrive, sadness occaisionally comes creeping back.
I am ready to move into acceptance. I think I'm almost there. I didn't think I would be interested in celebrating Christmas this year, but much to my surprise I find that I am. It's time to dig out a few decorations, write a few Christmas cards, wrap a few presents and shop for a few stocking stuffers. And time to cherish those I love.
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